Okay, before anyone jumps for joy, this is not a regular update. I got a new mac (yesss!!!!) but now my GAME is no longer working. WHY? WHY DOES FATE WANT TO KILL MY BLOG. These pics were taken before my game ceased to work. I'm trying to figure it out now. I threw up for the first time since I was eight this morning, and yeah... I had to get sick on the week before finals. So instead of doing nothing like one is supposed to when one is ill, I am studying two hours for every one hour I blog. Ah well. At least its not a school day. I CAN'T BE SICK ON A SCHOOL DAY. Why do I ALWAYS get sick during/right before finals? Must be the stress. Ha! THERE! Another substantial piece of evidence that emotional stress puts physical stress on your body, lowering your immune system, therefore- sorry. Sorry. I was just studying for my health final.
Prepare for some TMI, rambling, and the longest blog post on the face of the planet.
Enough frivolity! Welcome to the life of...
MY SIMSELF!!!
I tried to make her as like me as possible, minus the makeup thing. Don't know how that happened. And yes, I really wear my hair like that in real life, but its much wavier and longer. Plus, I fail at making sims, cuz all that time with invisible hair and CAS sims stunted my sim-making growth. Noses are my weakest point, as you will find out. That's why.
MY STATS:
Good: (because, although I'm unconfident about all other abilities, I know my morals are amazing. I am the child Who Will Do No Wrong, or substantial wrong anyway. My brothers are nice- well, okay ONE of them is nice- but I'm still known as the saint in my family.)
Artistic: (Cuz, psh, I DO go to an arts school, so it must mean I'm somewhat artistic. I think. I hope.)
Oh crud, I'm being serious now, I totally blanked on what trait I had next. I just spent two minutes of my precious hour staring at the computer screen trying to remember. Then I remembered. It's Absent Minded. Not. Even. Kidding right now. This is a true story.
Aaaaand Loner: (I'm ALSO known as the hermit in my family. And to my friends. I just stay in my room all day long, and hyperventilate at parties and crowds. AAAUUUGHHH PEOPLE!!!!!)
My fave food is Lobster Thermidor (YUM!) Favorite color is blue (just look at my real bedroom) and I really like classical music. (cuz I'm a nerd)
Now.
Lemme introduce you to the youngest of my two little brothers, who we will call Chris. In reality, he is in fourth grade.
His stats:
Mean spirited: (He is the not so nice brother I told you about. HE MAKES ME CRY HE IS SO MEAN. A bully to his sister who is almost five and a half years older than him. And I'm too nice to stand up to him.
Dad: Next time he treats like that, tell him who's boss.
Me: *crying* But he won't-t lisssten to mee.
Dad: Then whoop his a**.
Me: *cries harder* But I looove him-m!
Dad: And in order for him to love you, he needs to respect you, and he doesn't.
Me: B-but I'll get in troublllle.
Dad: So what? He needs to know who's boss.
This is a real life conversation I've had with my parents more than once. I quote it, and I have an amazing selective memory. Another fun fact: I can repeat the entire dialogue of Shrek 2 but can't remember what I did 2 minutes ago. Oh, and for the record, my parents are not inexperienced, cruel parents who set their kids against each other. My dad is a teacher for mean tough kids and they love him. They rarely go to this extent, but the situation calls for what it calls for. They are some of the best pros I know at this parenting thing. They better help me when I have kids. If I have kids. IF I'M NOT FOREVER ALONE. Oh wait, sorry, off-topic, heh heh, ADD/Absent-minded trait ^_^.
Neurotic: I can't even start to explain it to you. He is a germaphobe, and freaks out really easily. He's even more tightly wound than my mom, who can't sleep she's always stressed about stuff. When he was three, I remember he was really upset about something, and crying into a pillow, and then he shrieked in horror when he realized he had gotten a tiny dollop of spit on the pillow.
Perfectonist: His teachers think that he is going to give himself ulcers. When he could barely walk, when he was about a year and a half old, my mom would never have to bring those baby toys when she went somewhere to keep him entertained. Just a box of baby whips, and he'd clean the entire place he was at, even though he couldn't talk yet. He used to help my mom do dishes. FOR FUN.
He looks so angelic. Liiiessss. I love him anyway though. *hugs*
Chris: I see.... Alexandra. GO AWAY ALEXANDRA THIS IS MY TREE HOUSE YOU'LL GET YOUR GERMS IN IT!!!!
Sigh. Just like real life.
And... wow. Where are all my screenshots of my parents and my other brother who we will call Daniel because of his obsession with karate kid?
Oh well.
Mother: Bess Kraut.
Traits:
Neurotic: (Poor mom. She takes care of my dad and brother Daniel, the dreamers. No wonder she's so stressed)
Nurturing: (cuz all she ever cares about is her family. Thanks mom, but you seriously need a hobby.)
Light Sleeper: (because she has insomnia. Again, poor mom.)
Frugal: (cuz
And I think that's it.
Father: Darren Kraut
Friendly: (he just is)
Good sense of humor: (if corny puns are included. Oh dad, you make me laugh with your bathroom humor at the dinner table. Even if mom thinks its gross.)
Hot-headed: (The weakness in his personality. He doesn't get mad that often, but when he does they call him Darren-gone-Ape.)
Athletic: He's in good shape for his age and takes karate, goes to the gym, does push ups every morning, and has a black belt in Kung-Fu.)
Loves the Outdoors: Cuz he loves studying animals. He had this wilderness guide when he was little that he would use to measure scat he would find to see what animal it came from)
That is a bad shot of him spraying Millie's crush/fiancee with nectar.
That will come later.
A better but still cruddy shot of him at Millie's wedding.
This too will come. Later.
7th grade brother, Daniel Kraut
Disciplined: (HE IS OBSESSED WITH KARATE. I'M NOT EVEN GOING TO GET INTO IT EXCEPT TO SAY HE SPENDS ALL HIS FREE TIME WATCHING KARATE MATCHES ON YOUTUBE WHEN HES NOT ALLOWED TO PRACTICE CUZ OF HIS JUMPER'S KNEE FROM TOO MUCH KARATE!!!!!!!!!)
Loves the outdoors: (He's like a clone of my father but even more obsessed with martial arts)
Over-Emotional: Cuz, pssst, he is.Especially with the new hormones. He's worse than me on my monthly.
UPDATE: WE INTERRUPT THIS UPDATE TO BRING YOU A VERY IMPORTANT UPDATE! MY MOM JUST TOLD NICKY I THREW UP. SIGH. MOM. YOU COULD HAVE JUST TOLD HIM I WAS SICK. IF THERE WAS ONE, MOM AND I WOULD HAVE THE TMI/WAY TOO HONEST TRAIT.
Moving on.
And my nonexistent baby sister, Nora, who my simified mother had a wish to create.
Not too happy, are you Nora?
Dawww, now she's sleeping peacefully.
WAIT.
AUGH EVERYONE IN THE HOUSE IS SLEEPING THIS NEVER HAPPENS.
Oh, yeah, there's my mom. Sleeping of all things. Hi mom! Still don't have a pic of Daniel yet though. Le sigh.
And then my simself decided to ruin the harmony by waking up and going on the slip-and-slide.
Alexandrasim: But its so fuuuun.
Augh! Why did I put makeup on my simself? I NEVER WEAR MAKEUP NOT EVEN PIMPLE COVER UP WHEN I SORELY NEED IT.
Alexandrasim: Cuz you were having a weird moment? I really don't care, I loooove this jacuzzi.
Apparently you looove everything involving water,
Alexandrasim: Ooh, are my TOES wrinkly?
Alexandrasim: They ARE!!! How delightful.
I heard somewhere staying in a jacuzzi too long is bad for you. Apparently for your mind...?
WHAT IS DEES? THEES IS DOWNRIGHT DEEE-SPICABLE. This is Doodledog (we'll call her Millie) former YA mom who is suddenly an elder? We'll call her Jane Leen.
This is Millie's dad, who is at the age he is supposed to be. Why game? We'll call him Kale Swatt. I don't know who he's pillow fighting with though.
Doodledog will have to tell you their traits herself because I'm over this crud.
This is Millie/DD as a YA, which is to come. She actually looks a lot like herself, more than my simself does. Besides the nose cuz I was trying to get it right and then just clicked on a random nose. I'm sorry Doodledog. I WAS IN A RAGE.
Cuz she's my BFF, I'll list her traits.
Artistic: (she goes to the arts school wif me :D)
Friendly: (everyone loooves Millie :D Seriously! Never met a person who hated her. Unlike moi.)
Um.. I forgot? I'M SORRY! I'M SICK AND ITS BEEN A MONTH SINCE I LAST PLAYED!
I took a taxi to school.
Alexandrasim: The kids on the bus are scary.
And HE'S NOT????
Molester taxi driver: Hey pretty lady, I'm gonna make a detour. TO MY HOUSE. Heh.
NO! NO SIMSELF! ESCAPE!
After beating the taxi driver to death unconsciousness with my trusty waffle shovel, I made it to school. BECAUSE I DO NOT MISS SCHOOL. *eyetwitch*
Alexandrasim: Hello unedited, first try version of Millie.
First-draft Millie: Wazzup?
SIMSELF!!! DO YOU HAVE THE STUPID TRAIT??? DO YOU KNOW WHO IS STANDING CLOSE ENOUGH FOR YOU TO TOUCH???? *pantsscreams* (and yes, I dress like that but with a longer shirt and boy baggy jeans because that is what I'm comfortable in gotta problem,?)
Alexandrasim: Oo, a bird. :D
NOOOOO! YOU CAN DO THAT AT LUNCH like you always do BUT NOT NOOOWWW.
First-draft Millie: Alexandra! This is why he doesn't know you exist!!!
After that, I went to school, got the stressed mood let from math as always, and then--
Luck!
Alexandrasim: So since I'm Good I'm just gonna start on my hw right away and block out everyone around me.
Noll Geisel*: Hum-de-dum. Just standing here, absolutely single. La la la. :D
Paparazzi: Oh boy! How Old Spinster Cat Ladies are started! What a story!
LATER
Theodore Geisel: So, tell me why you teleported onto our lawn, went to Build/Buy on this lot, typed in Moveobjects on and moved yourself inside our house?
Alexandrasim: Um... YOURBROTHERISAMAZINGI'VELOVEDHIMSINCEIWASELEVENITSSOSADIWRITEHISNAMEWITHMINEONTHESTEAMEDUPBATHROOMMIRROROHNOLLWHYWON'TYOUBEMINE???????
Theodore: School sucks.
Noll Geisel: Lalala, just sitting on the floor, my brother talking to this stranger who is obviously stalking me. :D
Alexandrasim: Hey Noll! Meet me in the bedroom?
O.O Whaaaaat?
Alexandrasim: For a pillow fight!
Noll: Ahaha, this is awesome!
Alexandrasim and Noll: *friendship*
:D
This is Noll as a YA. The only clear head shot I have of him. NO HE'S NOT NAKED. BUT WHO CARES??? I DON'T! And he barely looks like his real person at all, but, like I said, I'm sim-making incapacitated.
HIS TRAITS:
Good: (cuz he's nice)
Athletic: (Cuz he's a star on the football team. I know, sooo cliche right? Like a Cinderella story, burgh.)
Shy: (cuz he is)
I forget the other trait I gave him.
You will not judge me.
Theeen I guess I became a vamp. In formal wear.
What are these?
Oh yeah, pics Doodledog sent me of her sims. She's so much better at making them than me.
Um.. random, middle-aged cheerleader bouncer?
Cheerleader bouncer: Like, you, like, totally can't, like, come in. Cuz yeaaah.
YOU'RE LIKE FORTY.
Aah, I see what's happening now... muahahaha. He looks so nervous.
Captain Tarot: (tell me if you want me to change his name DD) Um, this vamp girl has been following me all day and then after school I'm pretty sure someone put chloroform over my face and I woke up here, and I'm handcuffed to her, and she says I agreed to come home with her, but I DEFINITELY don't remember. And I'm preeetty sure she's been taking pictures of me on her cell.
I WAS PRETENDING TO TEXT. (JK or am I???)
Captain: Are you going to drink my plasma?
Alexandrasim: RELAX, I'm a teen, and vamp teens don't drink plasma. Besides, I need you alive for the thing I want to fulfill. Alive. And. ROSY.
MEET CAPTAIN TAROT!
TRAITS:
Good (cuz I think he's nice)
Artistic: (cuz he is in visual arts)
Aaaand I forget what else.
Captain: Ummm, sorry, uh, you seem cool and all, but, um, I don't really know you, and um, I don't like you in that way.
Alexandrasim: Don't flatter yourself. My heart belongs to one, and one alone since I was a child. I have other purposes. Come with moi.
Isn't it cuuuute? It even is kind of like her house in real life, but wrong color and even smaller.
MUAHAHA! Now you see my master plan, yes?
Captain: Hi, you're Millie?
Still not quite finished Millie: Yeah? Oh yeah, right, your Captain from bio and English! Um, what're you doing here?
Captain: Well, she- *turns around*
Alexandrasim: *has disappeared into the night*
Millie: Um, okay? Wanna come inside?
Captain: So she said this- I mean, this is for you.
Millie: Aaaw, thanks. :)
Then they flirted and held hands and just when they were about to kiss-
MILLIE!!!!
Millie: You set us up, didn't you?
You were so close!
Millie: I had to go!
There. Important momentous bathroom moment done.
Captain: Millie...
My work is done here.
HERE however...
Noll: Oh yeah, Alexandra, sure I'll come over.
Alexandrasim: Noll...
Noll: *Is suddenly taken under control as I mysteriously switch houses* Doyouwannagotopromwithme?
Alexandrasim: !!!!
Alexandra: *looks suspicious* ...if I don't DIE in china, I may live to wear this dress.
Chris: *has aged up into a teen unacknowledged*
Alexandrasim: I... don't get it. I was in Bridgeport... now I'm here.
Yeah, real Daniel was harping on me to take our family to China so he could learn martial arts and get an Asian gf.
Alexandrasim: It does not matter, as I am a vampire and awesome, I became a black belt in three seconds while he is still sweating out there, earning his green belt. Ooommmm....
Then we returned and almost died from swerving off the road.
We went to prom. That is Chris with his girlfriend Olivia. Wearing her bathing suit. Wow, I'm missing a lot of pictures, aren't I?
And this is Noll and mine. We started going steady at prom. :) And I didn't even mind that he didn't wear the lowly suit I picked out for him. Or that he was an hour late. Okay, maybe a little.
Alexandrasim: Noll just told me that he had a suit, but some crazy redhead with size D cups wearing a miniskirt and stuff stole the suit right off him, and she chased him into the bushes where he fought her off, but as he was completely naked, he had to stay in the bushes for an hour and call a friend to bring his normal clothes to him, all the while fighting her off!
You believed him?!
Alexandrasim: Oh please! Your game is so boring face one it can't even generate NPC redheads that aren't already pre made! Much less wearing a mini skirt! And why would some girl want Noll's suit anyway?
..........
Alexandrasim: Uhhh, wait a second. Am I forgetting something important?
ITS YOUR BIRTHDAY INTO YOUNG ADULTHOOD!!!
Alexandrasim: Yippee.
Don't be so excited.
Alexandrasim: I thought it was Christmas and I'd get a unicorn.
Just wait until Christmas. We got pets on Christmas! I emailed EA about our little installation problem, and so you'll get your unicorn.
I made this pic so you could see everybody. From left to right, we have Chris's GF Olivia in the green dress, then my mom, I think Daniel's Chinese GF is behind Mom, then there is Renee Littler, who turned me into a vamp in the first place, then their is Millie, cuz she's my BFF and amazing, with her new boyfriend Captain, who is standing next to a now child Nora that I completely forgot about until now, next to Dad, and- OMG is that DANIEL in green near the BBQ!? First picture in this chapter yessss!!!
Daniel: I feel so loved.
*ignores* And then there is Noll's little brother, Theodore.
But there is. No. NOLL.
Alexandrasim: I'm sure he's... missing the most important day in my life... doing something important. You love me, don't you cake?
Cake: *is silent in its frosted deliciousness*
Alexandrasim: Meh.
Alexandrasim: I DON'T NEED YOU CAKE, I HAVE MATURITY AND RED SPARKLES TO LOVE ME.
Then I grew Millie and Captain up and retried and refailed to make Millie's nose better. Now it worse than before. She looks like a pig.
Millie: HEY!
A very pretty, ADORABLE pig. With a pig nose.
Noll: Hey! I made it! Sorry, I was battling the redhead again for my suit and I got it back! *wipes sticking up hair back into place and brushes leaves off suit*
Come over here mister. Maturity time.
Millie: DANIEL IS RUINING MY LIFE.
Why? Does he take his mood swings out on you, too?
Mom: HEY LOOK! MY FACE IS VISIBLE! YOU CAN SEE MY WHOLE BODY!!!!
I thought you said you didn't need cake.
Alexandrasim: I just had a major growth spurt. I need my strength.
Captain: You'll need you're strength to keep looking that fine...
Millie: Did you just do what I think you did?
Captain: *terrified silence* N-no! Um, not that I even know what I did! I mean, what I didn't do, I mean- uh- uh- what you think I did- *starts sweating* OH LOOK CAKE.
Just like in real life. Millie/DD is REALLY SUPER mellow and nice, but if she's mad at you, her icy glare can KILL. I wish I could be that intense. Maybe Chris would "respect" me then.
Oh, and here's my head shot. Not bad at tall, if I do say so. I'm no Twilight fan, but being a vampire DOES make you better looking than when you're human, at least in this game.
Noll: I is unrendered now.
Tom Wordy: Whooo! I haven't had this much fun since I last made out with then insulted Alicia!!!
Go away stinky old man! You weren't invited!
And this is Noll. but you already knew that. *faints* I gave him a shorter, more mature hairstyle.
Captain: I'm onto you chair. Don't try anything funny.
Chair: *in silent fear*
Captain: That's what I thought.
Woah! Any chance he gained the insane trait when he aged?
Noll: For you, my love.
Alexandrasim: Oh Noll! I'm so happy I wanna..
Alexandrasim: ...so happy I just wanna change into my graduation gown and run out with my vampire skin unrenderd.
Ah. There we are.
Alexandrasim: Hey, I got voted for most 'likely to become an artist' and I'm starved. Mind if I do?
Ha! His face.
Thats disturbing.
Alexandrasim: Hey! I can see my brain!!! :D *sluuurp*
Enough is enough. If we you truly live Noll, you must go mortal for him or you will outlive him and will become depressed and people will think you a trophy wife as he ages. Plus it will be weird.
Aah. Back to normal.
House: *is unrenderd*
Alexandrasim: Hmm.. something is not right with the force. If I were still a vampire I could use my spider senses to figure it out...
Evil-looking vamp: Something smells divi-
Chris: Eew! No THANKS! You probably have all types of blood carried diseases. Take your germs elsewhere!
What is this? Is this what I sensed was wrong? A huge chested, shapely beauty in a miniskirt with- GASP!- red hair???? Was Noll telling the truth after all? Is some ginger after my man? Dun-dun-DUUUUUN!
THE END SORRY IT WAS SO TEXT HEAVY I WAS JUST RAMBLING
